on artificial feelings and how real pain can get

it's that time of the year when i get stressed out the most because of the exams at the university. I get the least sleep on the daily basis, i gain weight and the stress becomes very real and visible on my body and face.

But, fortunately, i found the way that walks me through this personal hell of mine. I call it artificial happiness. It's the plain happiness feeling induced by hormones. Basically, every feeling is induced by hormones which is very much a physical thing. But i think it also involves the soul, even if not proven scientifically.

Whatever now, the thing is i do something that makes me feel better, even if temporarily. I watch an episode of a sit-com i like or i eat a piece of chocolate or take a walk or something or on some occasion i buy something that i really want. I am going to buy an mp3 player this week to induce some artificial happiness and later on i will slowly accesorize it to make me even feel better. The point of this is to make me just go through the tough times. After the exams are over i will definitely feel happier regardless i own high-tech gagdets or eat chocolate or whatever.

That kind of happiness cannot be "bought".It is caused by the big relief and that "fuck-it-all" feeling because a very serious issue is over. You are then happy even if the exams didn't go as well as planned. But it's all good in the end.